My Climax

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Predating WR39B

 

As previously stated, I was anxious about starting WR39B because I hadn't practiced much writing abroad. In fact, while in Thailand I would often speak Spanish with other exchange students and Thai with my host family and classmates. Therefore, coming back to the States and speaking English all the time has proven awkward and somewhat troublesome. In order to better understand my writing abilities before WR39B and make accurate claims about my progress, I have included an essay from my AP Literature coursewhat I consider to be the “climax” of my writing abilities.

It is not the best essay I wrote in the course, but it is about conformity; a topic common in dystopian societies.  Additionally, my claim about rhetorical analyses being a foreign concept predating this course is undoubtedly apparent.

 

02 May 2016

AP Literature & Composition

Rebelling against Conforming

     In life there are many times when one is forced to conform to certain rules or norms imposed on them; and while these are often time for the greater good, sometimes these norms are questionable and can cause inner rebellion that may or may not physically manifest itself. In Mark Twain’s “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” the main character, Huck, is stuck between conforming to the racism he’s grown up in or treating Jim, a slave, as his equal. Similarly, Huck is also faced with the challenge of growing up and becoming civilized or being the person he wants to be. Just like Huck who is outwardly conforming but inwardly questioning the status quo, Winston and Julia in George Orwell’s “1984” secretly oppose their authoritative government led by “Big Brother”, but publicly pretend to love and follow the regime. In real life there are many examples of people who outwardly conform but inwardly rebel, such as civilians and government workers of North Korea as told in the stories of defectors.

Already, I can identify many flaws in this piece. The title is too broad that my essay does not stand out—although I am relatively pleased with the second half of my hook/opening sentence. I notice I was improperly formatting novels by using quotation marks instead of italics and there is an inconsistency between quantity-relationship (ie. I would refer to things as “these” only to further address them with “itself,” suggesting plural then singularity). Yet, possibly the greatest hole is the lack of a thesis. I failed to provide a feasible and arguable thesis but rather conjured connections between works and real life to discuss in a few paragraphs. I possibly assumed the readers would be able to “understand my thesis” but did not explicitly make it known.

     “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” is set in the southern region of the USA during the 1830’s when slavery was legal. Huck is a 13 year old child growing up with the pre-notion that black people are not of equal value as whites, he is accustomed to seeing blacks as slaves and distancing himself from those n words. When he decides to run away from home he meets a slave (Jim) at an island who seems harmless and tells Huck that he is also running away; so they catch fish together for dinner and Huck notices how gullible and trusting Jim is. Huck is leery of befriending Jim because he knows that he is legally supposed to report runaway slaves and will even get money out of it. Yet, after realizing that Jim thinks of him as a friend he has a change of heart. Jim tells Huck he “Won’t ever forgit you, Huck; you’s de bes’ fren’ Jim’s ever had; en you’s de only fren’ ole Jim’s got now,” which causes Huck to suddenly drop the idea of reporting him and go to far lengths to protect him. When Huck stepped out of a canoe he was approached by a man who asks if anyone is with him, Huck answers that there’s only one man with him. The man asks Huck what color his man is and this is Huck’s moment of truth. Huck wants to answer honestly but simply cannot force the words out. Eventually Huck gives up and said “He’s white,” which shows that Huck’s internal rebellion against the harsh racism is winning and that he now considers a black man his friend. Externally however Huck continues to fuel the racism and conform to the notion that slavery is fair by responding, “Good-bye, sir. I won’t let no runaway niggers get by me if I can help it,” and continuing to say he is, “feeling bad and low, because I knowed very well I had done wrong,” by protecting Jim. This tension between denouncing or accepting racism causes Huck to become very confused and flounder between his mindsets of racism and equality. At the end of the day Huck befriends Jim and winds up setting him free but remains with the idea that he has done wrong. Huck expresses his concern for defying the norm by stating, “And then think of me! It would get all around that Huck Finn helped a nigger to get his freedom; and if I was ever to see anybody from that town again I’d be ready to get down and lick his boots for shame”. This contributes to the meaning of the book because it tells the reader that someone might have prejudice or bias against others but if they were to truly get to know those people, it would be difficult to maintain that prejudice.

This entire paragraph was not necessarily beneficial for my essay. It was a lot of context and summarization, but assuming my intended thesis was the battle between conformity and rebellion, only the last sentence could have been used to pursue an argument. Additionally, the tense of my writing often flounders between the present, past, and continuous forms which can easily confuse readers.  

      Apart from dealing with the morality of slavery and racism, Huck also questioned conforming to the disposition that he should grow up and mature, or as he put it become sivilized (civilized). Huck says he has been taken in by a widow and she has tried to change him but he, “Couldn’t stand it no longer I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again and was free and satisfied,” showing he was so uncontent with growing up that he actually ran away and solely returned because his friend Tom Sawyer promised they could form a gang together. However, Huck begins to attend school and after 3-4 months, “could spell and read and write just a little,” which is a sign of education. Huck also does not seem to fit in with his friends as well as he thought because they’re going on adventures but not really experiencing the same thing, as noted when Huck says, “I didn’t see no di’monds, and I told Tom Sawyer so. He said there was loads of them there, anyway; and he said there was A-rabs there, too, and elephants and things. I said, why couldn’t we see them, then?” Huck does not realize that he is inevitably growing up and already more mature than his friends who play make belief. He even admits that he used to hate school but grew to stand it, but this does not mean he wants to become civilized. Huck still seeks adventure and freedom which is why he does not consider running away a mistake and rejects Aunt Sally’s adoption proposal. Huck explains he refuses adoption because he is afraid he will become sivilized and can’t stand doing that again. Huck wants to be a free person who does not abide by the rules of society which means he doesn't ever want to grow up and have responsibilities; but at the same time growing up is inevitable and the way he changes from not accepting Jim to helping him become free shows that Huck has grown and matured. This contributes to the theme because it shows that sometimes people want to hold on to what they currently have so desperately that they can go to great lengths and destroy their chances at a better future.

Again, I now understand that most of this paragraph is paraphrase (and lacks proper citations). There is slightly more evidence that supports my intended thesis but they are lost in a sea of summarization. In this paragraph, I refer to a “contribution to the theme” which was evidently rebellion. However, having a theme is not the same as having a thesis and this entire essay was thereby weak and unfocused.

[Two paragraphs on George Orwell’s 1984 with similar pattern/problems have been omitted.]

     Under an upsettingly similar government to that in “1984,” the North Korean “Democracy” has sent shock waves to it’s people and forced thousands to follow strict and unreasonable laws. The government of North Korea remains stable by using fear tactics and a policy of “three generations of punishment” to motivate citizens not to break any laws. If they do, not only they will be punished but also their children and grandchildren. TIME has commented that “There are no second chances when it comes to rule breaking” in North Korea. ListVerse claims that “One of the worst offenses that a North Korean can commit is attempting to leave North Korea,” and that the typical punishment is either, “immediate execution or an extended sentence in one of their labor camps.” This way a person will have incentive not to break the law and remain loyal to Kim Jong Un’s regime. Surprisingly this fear tactic is still not foolproof and “more than 27,000 North Korean refugees live in South Korea, while thousands more live underground in China,” according to JapanTimes. Defectors are often persecuted by the North Korean government, but successful defectors share their stories of outwardly conforming and participating in events such as watching Public Executions and visiting Kim Jong Il’s body. Meanwhile, it is well known that North Korea has a harsh government and there are extreme levels of poverty in the country and most defectors claim their living conditions have significantly improved. Defector Yeonmi Park has stated in interviews that she did not even know what freedom was until she left North Korea and that she left because her family pleaded her, not because she was seeking anything. After some time readjusting to life, Yeonmi is glad to have left North Korea’s oppressive regime. In conclusion, Huck Finn, Winston, Julia, and North Korean defectors have all had to decide between conforming to the norms and rules, or finding freedom and doing what they want to do.

I find this paragraph to have the most potential in advancing the argument at hand. There are references to outside sources, which adds credibility, but little is done beyond restating them. In a cliche, the phrase “in conclusion” is used and the lack of thesis becomes painfully obvious in weakening this essay. This is definitely not my best essay from high school, but it was something I found acceptable to submit for a grade in AP Literature.

Although I was not writing rhetorical analyses, many of my mistakes have become obvious through WR39B and I am grateful to have developed the ability to self-edit and judge my papers. I did not pass the AP examination and now have a more coherent understanding as to what I could have done differently and how to create a stronger appeal.

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