Welcome to my ePortfolio! My name is Celeste Villarreal and if you had asked me three months ago, I would have told you I was a good writer, then I started taking Writing 39B and was definitely knocked off my high horse. Now I wouldn't say I’m a bad writer or that I have no confidence in my skills, but my perspective has shifted quite a bit. For most of my education I’ve been able to get away with the “one and done” approach to writing, meaning I wrote one draft, spot checked it for grammar, sentence structure and overall how understandable it was then turned it in and forgot about it until I got my grade back. Believe it or not this worked well for me and more often than not I received As on my papers, but that doesn’t cut it in Writing 39B. Taking this class forced me to seriously reevaluate my lazy and unwilling approaches to reading, research, and analysis for class. I have also had to work on writing strong theses that accurately convey my goal as well as having an understanding of rhetoric that is more than superfluous, which in turn has deepened my perceptions about race. I previously found these tasks to be boring and unnecessary and now see the importance of these foundational steps to writing a strong paper and truly understanding the assignments as well as anything else I am given to read or write.
Since I’d always been able to fake it till I made it through my writing assignments, I figured I would do the same in Writing 38B. Boy was I wrong. The night before the first discussion post was due I thought it would be a breeze, but soon enough I was freaking out to my roommate and telling her I had no idea how I would even pass the class if I understood nothing (sorry, Meg). Eventually I began to get sort of a handle on the class, but still felt mostly lost and realized part of the issue was the way I was reading. In order to succeed in this class I was going to need to read and reread what I didn’t understand and even what I thought I did to make sure I was getting the point, something I’d never done before. Soon the in depth readings helped me understand better, but I was still struggling. However, even though I was improving in understanding what I was reading, there were various times when I struggled with the analysis aspect and proving I understood what I was reading. In order to improve this I attempted to write it as I would explain it to someone else then build from there.
Yet another aspect where a lot of work was needed was my thesis writing. I felt my body paragraphs made their points well independently, but I struggled to tie it all together with a strong thesis. It was irrelevant if my paper was good, because I knew it wouldn’t be strong until my thesis clearly stated my point. Despite taking AGWR to heart and listening to my instructor’s advice, I had no idea what I was doing. I wrote and rewrote thesis after thesis and sought advice from people I consider better writers, and eventually ended up with something good enough to turn in.
When approaching writing I found myself feeling overwhelmed and frustrated by the feeling of still not having a good idea of how to execute my papers well and what needed to be revised in order to succeed on the assignments, a feeling which was strange to me as I typically feel I know how to address my assignments well. When receiving comments on my work I am typically receptive to comments and suggestions from others who have read my work and will incorporate in the suggestions I am given, particularly when they are constructive and clear in the way they suggest I improve my work because often reading a paper without any form of attachment will allow one to see errors the author may not. While doing this assignment, I realized that while I may not be a terrible writer, there is much room for improvement, especially in regard to analysis of fiction. I have also come to terms with not being able to write one draft of an assignment and expecting it to be perfect or even good and that in order to have strong writing skills now and in the future my revision skills need improvement.
When I walked into Writing 39B my definition of “Native American” was as simple as whether or not you were the descendent of the people who lived in North America before colonization began. To me, it was as simple as a family tree and a bloodline and I did not connect any deeper meaning to defining someone as Native American or Indigenous. However, after reading the texts assigned for this class I realized that to Native Americans that identity entails a value of Native American heritage, culture, and traditions, and most importantly an intimate connection to the land and where one truly connects with and respects its “spirit”. Although being of Native American descent is a factor—arguably an important one—in being considered part of the ethnic group, there is more to truly being Native American than bloodline. N. Scott Momaday's “A First American Views His Land” accentuates the group’s deep connection to the earth. To the Native American the land is more than simply where he lives, it is a living spirit that thrives and provides and demands respect and honor and is not a thing to be bought, sold, destroyed, and abused without caution and repercussions. These people see themselves as temporary residents of a long lasting system and aim to take without destroying and feel as connected to the land as possible and eventually join it by being buried in it. I now realize that being Native American is more than a box one checks on a census or official form, it is a way of living and being that due to its deep rooted significance and influence in its traditions and values, transcends the often shallow and consumer driven lifestyles many others lead.