Before writing this HCP rough draft, honestly, I worried about the formation that I needed to use in my rough paper. I wrote the rough draft after I did much research. The professor's feedback was detailed and clear. I could see the problems I had and revised for the next draft. The first problem was about words using and grammar. And the professor showed  a lot of patience. The major problem of my HCP was the structure of each parts. These advices were really reasonable and helpful. It was a guide to improve my research paper writing skills. Now I am going to analyze these suggestions from professor's reply. 

Kevin Chen    

James R. Goebel

Writing 39C/HCP Rough Draft

29 Jan 2017

Air Pollution and Climate Change in China

I then took the professor's advice and revised the title , which then focused on Northern China in the final draft of HCP. 

I.Introduction

China has been severely troubled withair pollution and haze in recent decades. Especially inrecent years, air pollution has been and continues to beso severe in Northern cities in China. China’s severe air pollution sharessome similarities withLosAngeles-type smog in the 1970s and the London Fog of 1952. While, mainly, cities in China are suffering from PM_2.5, which is a particulate matter with a diameter of 2.5 micrometers, Northern cities in China have the more severe air pollution than other regions due to reasons such asthe increase of fossil fuel-dependent industries, coal heating in the winter, the increaseof vehicles usage, and the climate of less wind and rainfall. As air pollution began to be more visible and cause problems for longer periods of time, the Chinese government started to change course on air pollution regulation. This essay seeks to historically contextualize air pollution in China, with particular focuson Northern China. The historical scope of my analysis will span from 1991, when haze first became a particularly acute problem in Southeast Asia in general, to the present with China’spresent air quality crisis. Using scholarly sources from the fields of environmental sciences, political science, and air pollution regulation, I conclude this paper by considering the regulations necessary to deal with this crisis.

 As for the introduction part, the biggest problem was grammar and word using. I then corrected all these errors in the final draft.

II. Historical Haze Problem in China

From the year of 1991, when haze has been a particularly acute problem in Southeast Asia, China also troubled into the air problem of sand storm. While at that time, haze was not that severe. With rapid industrialization, urbanization, and economic growth, China gradually faces the problem of fog-haze pollution. Till the recent decade, the air pollution of fog and haze is severe in China. Historically, severe fog and haze happened in countries of Britain and the United States. China’s severe air pollution has some similarities with Los-Angeles-type smog happened in 1970s, and London Fog of 1952. In an article on the impact of air pollution on Chinese life expectancy, Yuyu Chen and his team of researchers argue that, “ambient concentrations of total suspended particulates (TSPs) between 1981–2001 were more than double China’s National Annual Mean Ambient Air Quality Standard of 200 µg/m3 and five times the level that prevailed in the United States before the passage of the Clean Air Act in 1970” (Chen, el. 3). It’s obvious that ambient concentrations of total suspended particulates were higher in China than the United States in 1970.

PM_2.5 is a particulate matter with a diameter of 2.5 micrometers, which is also a mixture of solids and liquid droplets floating in the air. Air quality is especially poor in Northern China, which is home to several of the world’s most polluted cities. In China, the Northern and Southern part is divided by the line formed by the Huai River and Qingling Mountain range. Based on the division and the long-live heating system, it’s common to have indoor heating in Northern China than in Southern China. Researchers also find out that the air pollution of PM_2.5 is higher, and life expectancies are 5.5 years lower than in South China. Meanwhile, despite of the heating system using fossil fuels, there are many other fossil fuels industries located in Northern China. For example, in Shanxi Province, the middle of Northern China, there are a lot of coal enterprises. The mining process and transportation of coal all generate the particulate matters into air. Things are the same in Northeastern China. Meanwhile, there are some big oil fields in Northeastern part such as Daqing oil field (located in Helongjiang Province), and Liaohe oil field in Liaoning province. The fossil fuels industries including iron and steel pant, smelting plant, and others all release more particulate matters into air. Heavy industries largely located in Northern China would be an important reason for the severe air pollution. Meanwhile, the topography of North China is also not very profitable for the wind blowing. Climate in winter in North China usually is dry and rainless. The wind from Siberia is good to blowing haze away, and it’s mainly how typical cities such as Beijing, Shijiazhuang, Xingtai, and others in Hebei Province have clean air in winter. The increasing air pollution of fog and haze also caused a lot of problems to people’s health. PM2.5 has been associated with various adverse health effects, such as pathophysiological biomarkers of adverse cardiopulmonary events, respiratory symptoms, and reduced lung function (Zhang and Samet 5). The generating diseases people have recent years also cause government, society, and people to concentrate on the air condition in Northern China.

 

III. Three Main Reasons of Severe Haze in Northern China

Fog-haze is more severe in Northern China as what I mentioned above. The first obvious reason is the heating system in Northern China. The temperature in North China is low in winter. Mostly, the heating system in these parts is using coal. The coal mining, coal transportation, coal heating, and carbon emission all make contribution to the generation of particulate matters and other pollution matters into air. Since there are many heavy industries such as oil fields, steelworks, smeltery, cement plants, and others all generate the air pollution in Northern China. Mainly, power stations in Northern China mostly are thermal powers, the unclean energy, which also generate the air pollution. The third important reason is the climate and topography in China. The dry cold weather with less rainfall make the haze not that easy to disappear. The Taihang Mountain locates between Shanxi and Hebei province also made the haze not easy to disappear when the wind comes from Northwest Siberia. The most severe fog-haze concentrate on provinces of North China Plain, such as the entire Hebei Province, Beijing, Tianjin, Henan Province, and Shandong Province. The topography and climate in these areas also generate the severity of fog-haze.

IV. Existing and Future Policies and Regulations

With the increasing health problem in citizens, China has developed and implemented a series of measures, action plan, and policies to tackle the serious situation, including standards, regulations, and laws that have been modified and updated, formulated and promulgated (Chai, et al. 80). The Chinese State Council released the “atmospheric Pollution Prevention and Control Action Plan” on September 10, 2013, which aims to reduce PM2.5 in the Jing-Jin-Ji area by 25% by 2017. The National Development and Reform Commission along with the Ministry of Environmental Protection also released the “Coordinated Development of Ecological Environment Protection Plan in Jing-Jin-Ji Area” on December 30, 2015 (Sun, et al. 2). Those plans released by government show the intention of reducing air pollution in North China. In recent years from 2015, the government halts many companies and heavy industries to open because of the releasing problem. A national air quality monitoring system was also set up accompanied by implementation of clean production process, controls on coal consumption, installations of flue gas desulfurization in coal-fired power plants (Gao, et al. 152). While the problem is many interventions have only temporary effects (Gao, et al. 149). And the key challenge for China is how to bring sustainable clean energy and consisting measures to conduct for a long time.

There are some key issues China should pay much more attention in fighting against haze pollution in China. The first one is the scientific policies to make in the balance of economic development and air pollution. As we talked above, many factories were halted by government to reduce the particulate matters releasing, people will face a problem of economic development in prevention. Second, since substantial movements of air pollutants from area to area (such as the haze in Southern cities in China), measures should be consistent and working among different cities. Third, international contributions to knowledge transfer, technology innovation, and even financial support can help China’s government to do better in air pollution (Gao, et al, 155). China’s government could seek help and experiences from Los-Angeles-type smog happened in 1970s and London Fog of 1952. Fourth, since it’s not the only task to government, companies and normal people should also make their own contribution to make the air clean again.

 V. Conclusion

In conclusion, this paper explores the air pollution-haze in China from the year of 1991. For recent decades, China has been troubled in the sever fog-haze especially in North China. Different reasons contributed to the situation there in Northern China. China’s government implemented policies, regulations, and a lot other efforts to make air clean again, while, it seems very difficult to make success in short time. China’s government could seek lessons and experiences from Los-Angeles-type smog happened in 1970s and London Fog of 1952 to check out how Britain and the United States cope with the issue of air pollution. China also needs to make policy and take actions based on scientific points, experiences, cooperation, and comprehensiveness to cope with the air pollution in future.

 

 

 

Work Cited

Chai, Fahe, Jian Gao, Zhenxing Chen, Shulan Wang, Yuechong Zhang, Jingqiao Zhang, Hefeng Zhang, Yaru Yun, and Chun Ren. “Spatial and Temporal Variation of Particulate Matter and Gaseous Pollutants in 26 Cities in China.” Journal of Environmental Science, vol. 26, no. 1, 2014, pp. 75-82.

Chai, F., Gao, J., Chen, Z., Wang, S., Zhang, Y., Zhang, J., et al., 2014. “Spatial and temporal variation of particulate matter and gaseous pollutants in 26 cities in China. Environ. Science. 26, 75-82.

Chen, Yuyu, Avraham Ebenstein, Michael Greenstone, and Hongbin Li. “Evidence on the Impact of Sustained Exposure to Air Pollution on Life Expectancy from China’s Huai River Policy.” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, volume 110, number 32, 6 August 2013, pages 12936-12941.

Gao, Jinghong and Woodward Alistair. “Haze, public health and mitigation measures in China: A review of the current evidence for further policy response”. Science of the Total Environment Feb2017, Vol. 578, p148-157

Sun, Yele, Chen Chen, Yingjie Zhang, Weiqi Xu, et. “Rapid formation and evolution of an extreme haze episode in Northern China during winter 2015.” International journal of Environmental Research and Public Health 2014 Sep; 11(9): 8909–8923.

Zhang, Junfeng and Jonathan M. Samet. “Chinese haze versus Western smog: lessons learned.” Journal of Thoracic Disease, 2015 Jan; 7(1): 3–13.

 

 This is my first rough draft of HCP writing in this course. I would say, there are really a lot problems involve in this draft including major problems of structuring and viewpoints, some mechanic problems such as words using and grammar. I'm really thankful that professor gave me really specific comments and enough patience to tell me what should I do to make a revision. The following are the main comments from our professor:

"Hi Kevin,

There are some major issues with this draft including: the mechanics of your writing; MLA formatting; providing your reader with research evidence via in-text citation; a complete absence of multi-modal sources like maps, graphs, etc.; extensive needs for expansion and clarification; organization; and, the biggest problem, the almost total lack of the historical dimensions of your problem. On the matter of organization, I would consider the following outline, which should help take care of some of the other issues:

1. Introduction
   1. In addition to what you have, including an image that visually demonstrates China’s air quality problem (and there are tons) would be really helpful in quickly demonstrating the urgency/magnitude of your problem to your reader. This will also help with your (current) total lack of multi-modal sources.
2. China’s Industrialization. See Comments 5 and 17 in the margins for a detailed explanation, but, briefly, this section would expand your historical scope and help you to define the historical development of China’s air quality crisis through time. This would be your “piece of evidence” from the past.
   1. In addition, you could include a graph or table which visually demonstrates the rise of CO₂ emissions, or the decline of air quality, or whatever, since China’s industrialization. This would help with your lack of multi-modal sources.

• China’s Geography and the Effects of PM₅ on Public Health. Again, see Comment 5 in the margins for a detailed explanation, but, briefly, this would allow you expand on the previous section by informing your reader of even more specific information as to how the air quality problem is intensified by China’s geography, while also allowing you to explain the effects the air quality problem has had on public health. This would be your “piece of evidence” from the present.
  1. Again, in addition, you could include, for example, a map of the dividing line between North and South China, and/or of wind patterns in the region, and/or a graph/table of the increase in hospitalization due to the air quality crisis, the average life expectancy of Northern Chinese people, etc. Again, this would help with your total lack of multi-modal sources.

1. Existing and Future Policies and Regulations. As I stated in Comment 22 in the margins, the first paragraph of this section is – despite still having issues – your best paragraph in this draft. But you need to expand on the information provided.
2. See Comment 24. The conclusion should not simply restate what you’ve already covered in the paper, but hint towards future work on the topic (in the case of this class, it should hint towards what will be developed in the AP). The second paragraph of your “Existing and Future Policies and Regulations” section should be reworked and repurposed for your conclusion.

If you follow this outline, not only will you deal with the major problems of this draft, but it will develop logically without being redundant. But, and I can’t emphasize this enough, you must expand on the information you provide. If you find yourself explaining something in one sentence, or a number of things in one paragraph, it means that you are not giving proper attention to what you’re discussion, and you are not providing sufficient explanation for your reader."

There are some major problems of my rough draft. The first one is the structure. There are some parts that I should not use in my draft and some parts that I missed in the draft. After taking all advices from the comment, I then decided to make the structure such as "I. Introduction" "II. China’s Industrialization" (It's also the historical reason of China's severe haze happened in North.) "III. China’s Geography and the Effects of PM_2.5 on Public Health" (The geography is also an important reason that I talked about in the rough draft . However, for the second part. I listened to the professor's advice, I took this part away. The effects of PM2.5 on Public Health was also a part that I needed to pay much attention to because it could help me state the influences that PM2.5 had on public and people's health). "IV.Existing and Future Policies and Regulation", this part did not have severe problem but according to the suggestion, I could use that in the AP paper later. These are all the big correction to the structure of my paper. The other major problem that I had for the HCP rough draft was "a complete absence of multi-modal sources like maps, graphs, etc." I did not realize it before I wrote the HCP rough draft, and professor also provided me some good places to insert the picture and graphs. These comments and suggestions were really important for my improvement of my research paper writing skills. I then spent much time to revise my HCP draft.