Reflective Introduction

            Before I began Writing 39C, I was determined that my experience in Writing 39A and 39C will set me well prepared for this course. Although writing skills learned from previous writing classes did help me throughout 39C, I was still unconfident with writing until I came to end of this class. Writing has always been one of my shortcomings since English is not my first language. I have a limited vocabulary and I often make grammatical errors, so I made efforts to improve them this quarter. Despite my weaknesses, I decided to focus on other aspects of being a successful writer. I believe creativity is one of the most important habits of mind because good writings use different ideas and perspectives to manipulate the audience to think in broader perspectives. Thus, I focused on creativity throughout writing 39C by using multi-models to support my writing. In addition, through daily reading of Anthony Lewis’ Freedom for the Thought We Hate, the AGWR, in-class discussions, peer reviews, individual conferences, and even library visits, my ability to write a good essay gradually improved.

 

Transferring

            Many writing techniques learned in my previous writing classes followed me through 39C. There were two writing classes in my lifetime that I consider nightmares, yet the most beneficial writing classes – AP Literature and Writing 39B. One commonality they share is that both classes taught me on writing thesis statements. My brain was carved with the fact that the thesis is the core of a successful essay and an essay without an accurate and sophisticated thesis is not a good essay. When writing both the HCP and AP papers, I always kept in mind that I must write a clear and sophisticated thesis statement that summarizes the writer's message and purpose. In writing 39B, I learned the five key characteristics of a good thesis: specific, structured, arguable, sophisticated, and polished. I transferred these techniques of writing a good thesis to the HCP and AP. An example of my thesis statement for the Advocacy Project adopted each of these criteria.

“Although objections to Colorado’s restriction of commercial speech still remain unanswered by the courts, some experts have suggested alternatives to prevent young adults from nonmedical drug use. Rather than heavy regulation on cannabis advertising, marijuana-legal states can potentially reduce health and social risks by possibly imposing a government monopoly on marijuana, as well as enforcing better public education.”

Specific: It answers the prompt, uses detail, and covers only what can be sufficiently developed in the rest of the paper.

Structured: It foreshadows the organization by which the essay will proceed (the problem of cannabis ads, government monopoly as solution one, education as solution two).

Arguable: The main argument on solving the issue of cannabis advertising, which is the second part of the thesis, is not certain and can be challenged.

Sophisticated: The sophistication of the thesis contributes to making the issue of cannabis ads specific and arguable. When writing the thesis, I often as myself: “so what?” “who cares?”

Polished: Usually a good thesis is in two sentences and the sentences have been revised to make a clear, detailed, precise, and readable statement.

Thus, by transferring this strategy of writing a good thesis statement to 39C not only helped my essays to stay focused, but also made it easier to write the rest of the paper. Consequently, I will carry this strategy with me in my future writing career.  

 

Composition Process

            One of the most difficult thing before the beginning of the first major assignment was choosing a topic that best suits our theme – free speech rights. I would say the most life-saving process work was “Finding a Topic” because it helped me refine a topic that followed me through the entire 39C class. Initially, I was interested in the topic of advertisements and typed in “advertisement and the first amendment” in the search bar. The results were rather definition-based.

I asked Brenden if this would work as my topic, but I was rejected because the topic was too broad. He suggested that I look at the news section to find a recent issue on a particular advertisement that is hard to settle and cause debates. It was like a miracle moment when I found a news article of a dispute on the restrictions on cannabis ads in Colorado. The news article drew my attention and I was determined to choose cannabis ads as my topic.

Nevertheless, before coming to the decision to use cannabis advertisements as my topic, I ran into several difficulties proving how this sort of advertising is at the center of a contentious legal debate and how it differs from the past. When doing my initial research, I used search terms like “cannabis ads and the first amendment” or “cannabis ads and commercial speech” that only gave me some surface information of the issue. When I received Brenden’s feedback from my topic, I experienced my first lightbulb moment where I realized that the problem of cannabis ads could relate to alcohol and tobacco ads regulations. The comments aided me in developing search questions and narrowing my search terms.

As my research-based composition progressed, I used more specific search terms and questions that gave me more specific results. I also learned how to look for useful sources during the library visit. I was introduced to Escrow Search Host, which I found extremely useful in finding credible sources to include in a research paper. By searching the keywords “big tobacco and marijuana” on Ebscrow Host, I found multiple scholarly journals. One of the most credible sources I used in my HCP was an academic journal article written by David A. Alderman titled "Big Tobacco = Big Money = Big Headaches" for Management Review. Many of my sources were found by using Escrow Search Host and the technique of narrowing search terms followed me throughout my research process.

 

Rhetoric, Argumentation, and Multi-modal Communication

            The multimodal pieces of evidence are used to displayed my creativity in writing.  It not only articulates the claims and arguments in my essays effectively but also strengthened my academic ethos. Using images in writing was very new to me and I was initially very skeptical on being so graphic in academic writings. However, this class reverted my attitude towards multimodal communication in writing, acknowledging the importance of images that can strengthen my arguments. All the major assignments including HCP, AP, presentation and even the reflective introduction I am writing now requires heavy use of multimodal. To this point, I must admit the usefulness of images in my essays. Nevertheless, choosing a good multimodal was not easy. Below is an example of an irrelevant image that I used in the first HCP draft.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I received a comment from Brenden that my image was displaced in HCP draft one. Indeed, I forgot to remind myself that my topic is cannabis ads, not government healthcare. This cartoon is actually advocating for a government subsidy for health insurance, which is entirely off the main point of my essay. What I wanted to express was that marijuana legalization will bring burden to the American government because more money will be spent on subsidizing health care since marijuana causes health damages.

Eventually, I came to understand that not only the use of text evidence determines my academic ethos, the use of multimodal evidence determines my academic ethos too. The image in my first HCP draft does not relate to my topic, nor does it support the claim I tried to make. On HCP draft one, finding multimodal to include in the paper was the last thing I did because I felt like it is not an important component of the paper. However, I was wrong and this technique was not efficient because I got even more lost and frustrated on what multimodal to use and where it should be used.

I was initially quite discouraged in multimodal communication and decided to try something different. When composing my following drafts, I would look for multimodal pieces of evidence whenever I felt like the paragraph could be strengthened with graphics. For each multimodal, I asked myself if the image is really relevant to claims I’m making, or if it conveys a message that would strengthen my claims. As my research piled, I noticed many academic journals and research articles utilized numbers to support their argument and it was very convincing to readers like me. Hence, I included tables and graphs in both HCP and AP final drafts. Graphic statistics not only helped articulate my claims and arguments but also made my research paper look more professional and credible. Below are examples of good multimodal pieces of evidence.

HCP Final Draft                                                                 AP Final Draft

 

 

Revision

I believe revision is one of the most important components of a successful essay. By establishing multiple drafts and receiving feedbacks from peers and teacher, I was able to slowly improve from being a scratch writer to an academic writer. Prior to college, I was never in the habit of writing drafts for a particular essay. However, as my writing career reached 39C, drafting became an essential part of writing papers. Peer review also became my guideline to a better essay.

When writing the first drafts for HCP and AP, I basically dumped in a bunch of necessary information to write the drafts without caring so much about the flow of my essays. Thus, my first drafts were rather messy and disorganized. There were no transitions between paragraphs, weak topic sentences, and heavy quotations. I was usually discouraged and overwhelmed after receiving comments from my peers and teacher on my first drafts. However, the criticisms and suggestions motivated me to improve and drafting allows me to show these improvements.

Peer Reviews vs Teacher's Comments

 

 

I received similar feedbacks from my peers and teacher. Most of the criticisms on my drafts shows that my essay lack transitions. However, the criticisms and suggestions motivated me to improve and drafting allows me to eventually establish these improvements.

Bad sentence transition in AP Draft One

AP Final Draft

After reorganizing the paragraphs and revision on transitioning sentences throughout the drafts, I was able to tie a connection between two paragraphs with the last sentence of the first paragraph and the first sentence of the second paragraph.

My drafts also had weak topic sentences. I came to realize that topic sentences are as important as the thesis statement because it states the main point and foreshadows the content of a particular paragraph. Considering the teacher’s comment, I created a much more assertive topic sentence in the example from HCP draft one.

Weak topic sentences from HCP draft one

“Publications may be taking too much advantage in states that legalized marijuana.”

Teacher's Comment

HCP Final Draft

“Publications like High Times and Westword may be taking too much advantage in marijuana-legalized states with the backing of the First Amendment.”

The new topic sentence addresses who the publications are and how they take advantage in marijuana-legal states. 

There were several major problems in the first draft of HCP and heavy quotation is one of them. In the first draft of my HCP, I literally dumped the whole quote of an expert in the paragraph. The block quote took up half of the paragraph and there were little explanations from myself.

Heavy quotations from HCP draft one

 

When I met with Brenden during office hours, he warned me to be careful with using block quotes unless every single word said by the author is important, otherwise, there is no need to quote him/her for more than four lines. He suggested that I paraphrase what the experts said instead.

HCP Final Draft

 

In writing 39B, I learned that paraphrasing is used when the words are less important than the meaning and it is often used to simplify the author’s words so it is easier to understand. Thus, after several revisions on condensing this quote, I paraphrased the most important message of the author and quoted only the most important words. Overall, this quarter in Writing 39C has made me a better writer through multiple revisions as well as learning writing techniques from other peers. Good writers borrow, better writers steal. I will definitely take the things I learned from this class to my future writing career.