Before moving onto this draft, I created an outline that allowed for me to organize the research I found. This essay was finalized in terms of context, the revising process had not began yet. I highlighted the beginning of my essay again to focus the reader onto the section of my introduction that was developed. The addition of a personal story helped me reach out to the reader on a personal level and strengthen the urgency of the problem. In this essay one can notice that my topic sentences do not further an argument but rather often are merely descriptive. In comparison to my first draft the use of an anecdote helped slow down my introduction of the problem. This page includes my introduction so the viewer of my portfolio too can make this comparison. 

Zulema Cuevas

Prof. Fischer

Writing 39C

15 October 2015

Marcell is a 12 year old boy living in Camden, New Jersey with his grandmother. With the minimal government support she receives, she is struggling to provide the basic needs for Marcell. He is placed in an environment with high levels of crime, unemployment, and school dropout rates (Coen 1). Camden is one of the astounding 16.4 million children living in poverty today.According to the U.S. Census Bureau, this number has remained stagnant for the past four years, meaning that there has been no change in the level of poverty. Children under the age of 18 have the highest rate of poverty compared to all other age groups. Innocent children are suffering the most from this epidemic. With poverty targeting America’s future, what does the future have to expect? There have been several studies that show the relationship between living in poverty and demonstrating low academic performance. This is because child poverty places unnecessary chronic stress on families and their children resulting in brain development and health problems (Engle 2). Child Poverty, is a persistent issue that inevitably leaves children at a disadvantage academically.