A Reflective Piece: The Journey of Losing My Comfort Zone

   I can say with certainty that I wouldn’t have learned as much as I did in Writing 39B if I did not struggle to do my best. Before the course, I had some experience with higher level writing, but overconfidence beforehand is a recipe for destruction. Quickly jumping into class, I realized just how much effort was needed to put into being successful; my predisposed idea of  the class being an “easy A” was flushed down the drain once the RA prompt made it’s appearance. Moving through the course, I realized it in order to well, I need to put sufficient time and effort into improving my writing. I learned from this course that it is about finding the right balance: creating great work without artificially overdoing it. Moreover, I also learned things about myself that I never thought I was capable of doing, and it was primarily from losing the bounds of my comfort zone.

   Personally, in order for me to do well in something, I need to enjoy the topic. Beginning the class, I knew the opposite of utopia was dystopia, but I had no inkling of what that concept meant in literature. Through this course, I had the chance to learn about what the idea of dystopia meant in literature and how it can be analyzed in text. Although I did not like the assignments all the time, they did help me with understanding the different components of a dystopian society. What I learned early on was that a dystopian society is not metaphorical but an actual destructed civilization. When I discussed my favorite dystopian works, I included F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby because I believed it could symbolically represent a flawed utopian society and a dystopia within Gatsby’s world; however, after reading more dystopian text, I came to notice the similar characteristics of a dystopian society and how it is articulated in literature. From here on, I began to learn more about how a dystopian genre usually rises from a Totalitarian authority. I do not believe I would have done well in the class if I did not do the mandated assignments, because not only did it keep me on track with understanding what is going on in class, but it furthered my knowledge about rhetoric and analyzing text. Each assignment would take at least three hours to complete, and although it felt time consuming, I know it helped my brain with continuously processing dystopian works and staying involved with discussions in the class. With productively completing the pre-class assignments, it made it much easier to engage in class discussions and answer questions about the text. Although I was not right all the time, the feeling of being engaged in class and contributing a small portion to class discussion made it much easier to keep learning and understanding what is needed to be done for the more significant assignments. Towards the end of the course, however, I did not do all the designated readings because I would not pay attention to the syllabus. There were times I felt lost in class and kept silent because I didn’t do the readings for discussion, and it definitely hurt my learning process. One of my biggest flaws in the class was looking over the syllabus every day, because I missed out on a lot of discussion, along with not completing my Midterm ePortfolio due to my lack of not paying attention.

   The RA was unequivocally the most difficult project in this course for myself. Though I fell in love with reading Yevgeny Zamyatin’s We, I found creating a rhetorical analysis essay extremely difficult, despite my experience in writing a surplus amount of them in high school. When I read the novel, I did not annotate nor pay attention to significant rhetoric throughout the text. Because of my lack of preparing for the essay, it made it substantially harder when it came time to begin with producing my work- most especially because we had no specific prompt to follow. Personally, I like having a specific question to follow when writing a rhetorical analysis essay, so it became difficult for me to figure out what to write about. Noticed in my drafts, I switched my topic and thesis multiple times; first discussing the theme of Happiness vs. Freedom, then the characteristics of a dystopian genre, then to context, then finalizing with both context and genre. In my essay, I lacked having a more in depth analysis about context and genre because I was too transfixed on covering everything about the novel. For example, in one of my commentary I state “Zamyatin figuratively negates the Soviets having power over the citizens, and weaves this claim throughout We by creating I-330 as the antagonist and separatist.”; reading this over now, I ask myself why? Though it is a concluding remark, it lacks more analysis and becomes too general; I can see it needs more in depth analysis so the reader understands exactly what I am alluding. Furthermore, if I could work on anything else with the RA, it would be the overall structure. I feel as though I was too transfixed on discussing context that the essay lacked the structure I wanted. I did not utilize the Introduction and Conclusion samples given by the Professor to improve my essay, because I did not focus as much as I should have on the beginning and end of my essay. Though both systematically have the parts they need to be sufficient, they lack the sophistication to urge the readers to want to read the novel. Instead of methodically concluding with they key points of the essay (manifestation of historical context and characteristics of dystopian genre), I could have added an additional key point that both wraps up my essay but also further engages the reader and shows enough stylic personality to finish the essay with a satisfying conclusion.

   I never believed peer review was helpful until taking this course, with it being mandatory to review other classmate’s work. Examining classmate’s work in high school seemed unnecessary and felt like a chore, but now being able to see other student’s perspective on the same material helped me interpret the text multiple ways, and it also offered a way to engage more in the drafting process. I felt it exceedingly beneficial when I received feedback on my work because they gave honest criticism that helped me fix my work. When we had the task of properly ordering the RA into the right order, the group working on mine had extreme difficulty finding the right placement; after, they commented that it was hard to follow and didn’t have appropriate structure that it even became confusing on how to interpret what I was analyzing. From here, I realized that I needed to drastically alter my draft to make it less academic and “wordy” and focus more on the actual content of what I am analyzing. The peer review also came in handy when reviewing the RIP drafts. I was having the most difficulty figuring out how to start my short story, but the peer comments on my draft helped me decide that I should stay with the dialogue introduction because it allows the readers to be quickly engaged, but it also showed me that I need to offer less background information in the beginning and instead seam it throughout the story.

   One thing I wished I would have utilized more is the Skype and in-person conferences. In the start of the course, I did not think I had anything to ask or be worried about, so I delayed signing up for them. When I did have the conferences, I did not give time beforehand to figure out what exactly I did not know in order to ask questions that would help me with my projects. Inevitably. I found myself after the conferences still being confused and having more questions, not entirely utilizing the time I had to further my project in the expectations of the professor. I know I would have gained more out of the class if I had been more sufficient with the in-person conferences and took it more seriously. Having lost that opportunity, I have learned now to use office hours and one-on-one with the professor as a useful tool for understanding the material better and satisfying the questions and worries about the course all together. Because it was mandatory, it made me step out of my comfort zone and do something I wouldn’t have normally done, and it is something I will use in my upcoming classes.

   I am fortunate to have taken this course in my Freshman year because it made me realize I am capable of doing well in college, but I need the confidence, dedication, and involvement in order to be successful. Before taking this class, I felt inadequate and unable to be a good student at UCI because I was transfixed on everyone doing better than me. However, because of the diverse projects, peer review, and conferences being mandatory, I was able to put my full focus into the course and produce work I am proud of. Though I struggled writing the RA, the mistakes I made helped me write the RIP. Instead of using words that sound too “academic”, I focused entirely instead on the content and pacing of my story. Zamyatin’s We and Stephen King’s The End of the Whole Mess became my beacon of inspiration in creating my story because both narrations had a significant impact on my understanding of dystopian genre; while Zamyatin’s text was the epitome of dystopian literature, King’s text portrayed a more unique and diverse dystopian civilization. My short story is a piece that I worked endlessly on because I wanted to do something I have never done before, and though it was proving to be extremely difficult, I am beyond happy with what I accomplished.

   Could I have gone the easy route with both projects? Surely I could have, but I highly doubt I would have taken so much out of the class if I did things I was already accustomed to. From escaping my comfort zone and writing an analysis essay about context to writing my own version of a dystopian story, I learned a great deal about myself and what I am capable of doing in writing and in college overall. It’s important to focus on the course’s class work every day, not just when homework is mandatory. I notice after taking Writing 39B that it is possible to do well in class when you give yourself time to understand the text before lecture, in addition to utilizing office hours for when you are struggling. Although I did make mistakes along the way by not paying attention to the syllabus, not completing the Midterm ePortfolio, and  not taking advantage of conferences, I did learn from these faults, which I know will help me improve in my future classes. I truly feel like I have taken away a lot from being in this class, and understanding what it takes to be successful is the main component. Through learning about the multiple works of dystopias in literature, I was able to critically analyze rhetoric, in addition to later creating my own. Though it was frightening and worrisome leaving my comfort zone, it is something I will look back on and be happy that I did. I have learned so much about who I am as a writer and a college student through escaping the walls of my comfort, and I know I can only learn more from here.