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Critical Reading Exercises # 2 and #3

Octavio Martin

Jacqueline Way

Writing 39B

4 October 2015

Critical Reading 2: The Moral Conflict

I shall proclaim that while fairy tales delineate subtleties that pertain to the moral code of humanity, we must also consider the standards at which we measure this moral code. If we study fairy tales for their moral behaviors, we cannot only regard their good aspects without analyzing them as a whole. I mean, Cinderella’s tale contains the idea of survival, but to do so, our protagonist must steal food and throw in a couple of lies here and there. Within this context, how do we determine these moral standards; do we implement that stealing is wrong or do we advocate the opposite, and while doing so a human’s life must be adjacently harmed due to its consequences. Obviously children might not detect these complex ideas, but if they can’t, then fairy tales might simply not be the best moral compass. Confined to the variables of Cinderella, we also encounter this recurring pattern of lying in order to remain hidden from danger. This, once again, brings up the same idea that if you do something that society has condemned as “wrong,” it might create self-conflict: Do we commit an impure act to save our lives (if the stakes are that high) or do what society has dictated as morally right? This can undoubtedly create turmoil within children if they were to analyze fairy tales for their moral teachings.

If children were to read Perrault’s “Donkeyskin” or the Grimm brother’s “Cinderella,” they would have to do it without societal influence in order to synthesize the lessons that these tale proclaims as morally right. That is why fairy tales serve a better purpose for children. Within the world of Cinderella, there is no tangible societal repercussions like the one we live in, and thus children can deduct this “moral behaviors” and implement as their own. For instance, we can extract the idea that one must strive to survive as an individual against the hindrances that life throws our way. Perrault explicitly draws us to this idea by creating a harsh environment for Donkeyskin and forcing her to flee away from a misfortunate future. The development of such events are constructed by colorful language, a parade of emotions, character development, and viscosity in the flow of events that drive children to tolerate what’s right and wrong. It’s simple for children to follow the story line and denote the injustices and adversities that Donkeyskin goes through. The tale also has fairies which not only enlighten the tone of the situation, but also make the tale more compelling toward children. Overall, “Donkeyskin” highlights aspects of fairy tales and manages to disguise it gruesomeness under nice words and well-rounded characters.

While the Catskin version of Cinderella wields a more complex harshness, the typical Cinderella version uses a tone of serenity to depict similar lessons. Globally, the arc of the stories are extremely similar, but “Cinderella,” by the brothers Grimm, uses a friendly approach by exemplifying a more luminous tone. The Grimm brothers’ Cinderella displays a lower level of gruesomeness and focus more on the virtue of happiness. This version also omits the aspect of revenge, which says a lot about the message that it can convey. Overall, this version paints a more vivid image as in the way that Cinderella sings to the birds and calls upon them for help. In a way, it has a more direct correlation between humans and the environment. Through complementary application of such details, this version would be more attractive for younger generations because of its light-heartedness and details that conceal the more serious aspects of the tale and only portrays its innocence towards children.

The encapsulation of my thoughts are meant to reflect how fairy tales must be considered 360 degrees to regard them for moral development and that both types of the Cinderella tale are guided to emit a synonymous lesson: self-esteem and self-growth through severe experiences. The executions, however, of each type are similar, and thus authors manage to stabilize the effectiveness of their works and allow kids to learn applicable lessons.

Octavio Martin

Jackie Way

Writing 39B

11 October 2015

Critical Reading 3: Beauty and the Beast

Donald Haase begins his arguments through remarks made by W.H. Auden which claimed that “it is hardly too much to say that the [fairy] tales rank next to the Bible in importance.” Within the nature of this hyperbole it can be implied that Haase will attempt to explain the fundamental teachings that fairy tales emanate over the general populace, just like the bible does. Nonetheless, while he considers the effects of fairy tales, he directs his focus to the “sacrilegious” origin of fairy tales and how the idea of ownership “has ruined fairy tales.” To adhere to his argument, let us analyze “The Frog Princess” written by Afanasev in Russia during the mid-19^th century. One of Haase’s main claims is that when a specific group of folk, such as the Germans and the Grimms, claim fairy tales as their property, they redefine fairy tales as “national property.” This same idea seems to be applicable for Afanasev’s tale.

During the 1850s, Russia undertook a process in which non-Russian communities assimilated to the Russian Culture. This process was called Russification and these communities were forced to renew their culture and politics. Afanasev subtly hides this idea in “The frog Princess” especially by setting a hierarchy between the king and the sons. In this case the king stands as a symbol for Russia and the act of endowing his own will upon his sons represents the idea of Russification. On the other side, the sons are synonyms for these non-Russian communities who have no free will and must obey the hierarchy. Although this cultural traits might be ambiguous, they solidify Haanse’s arguments that fairy tales are claimed by groups and this groups opaque them and morph them into weapons to “promote nationalism and sadistic behavior.” Also, the mere character of the princess as a frog delivers the notion of Russification because she must hide under the skin of the frog and thus ceasing from being who she really is. This can correlate with how non-Russian communities had to cease from their cultures and hide under a different skin of social nationalism.

Haase makes a compelling point about the effects of ownership over fairy tales, whether nationalistic, ethic, or universal, as “prescribe forms of thought and behavior, and modes and models of humanity.” In essence, Haase tries to tell us that through fairy tales give us insight into ourselves and into our humanity. This can also be reinforce through conventions in “The Frog Princess” which enlighten Afanasev’s own self and humanity. For instance, take Prince Ivan’s reaction after discovering that he must marry a frog; he is engulfed by dismay and embarrassment. Same feeling are unveiled by Ivan when the frog is tasked by the king. Later on when Ivan is amazed by the Princess’ beauty and skill, he feels proud of who his wife truly is. The relationship of shame-to-pride allows us to see that Afanasev is intolerant of judging humans by their appearance which only sets boundaries on who is worth of our affection and who isn’t. Such ambiguous representations express the author’s thoughts and perspectives, thus making the tale his own.

Comment: The second critical reading exercise helped me direct my focus to what the expectations for the class were and what kind of analysis it was expected of us. This exercise was fairly weak in the fact that I included almost no specific examples from the tale itself, which then helped me realized that without those examples my arguments dissolved like salt in water. The third critical reading exercise really helped me to use secondary sources to support my claims as well as to include context as part of my argumentation. Fortunately, this exercised proved to be a great guide line and example for my final RA essay since it consisted heavily of Cinderella's context. Overall this exercises walked me down the path to better understand what I was expected to do and how deep my analysis for my RA essay was supposed to be.

Draft 1 vs. Draft 2 vs. Draft 3 vs. Draft 4

Draft 1:

Fairy tales also present us theoretical circumstances that would probably never occur in any ones lives. And yes, those fictitious clichés can extract beneficiary morals and lessons, but if that’s the case, why not have them read classical literature? Fairy tales only limit us to only two solution: you either live happily ever after or you don’t. Now, let’s stand back for a second and think logically, if kids are confined to only these two ways of life, it can have some negative effects. We are teaching our kids to think closed-mindedly by offering them only two role models for life. …..Fairy tales also take away from the self-compassion that lives with us humans; it helps us understand others by the situations that they are facing and in turn they help us. If two people are going through a similar situation, it can help them feel better since they know that they are not the only ones. Fairy tales on the other hand, however, through their distorted fictional plots, take away from this compassion. We can’t really feel anything for a girl who is eaten by wolf since we have never experienced it or most likely will never do. These tales only isolate children from real life situations. If fairy tales had a small change that went from “…they lived happily ever after” to “they lived happy, sometimes sad, angry, joyous, and others scared.”

Draft 2:

Fairy tales don’t only close the mind of children by providing limited models of life, they are also being deprived from self-compassion. It’s obvious that fairy tales are fictional works that delineate creativity and non-existing circumstances, but this can lead them to a void of humanly emotions for one another. By representing unrealistic scenarios, children are pushed away from the sympathetic emotions that are shared between people who live through similar troubles. It has been widely proclaimed that fairy tales can help children deal with troubles and teach them how to react and find a resolution. The side effect of this is that children are taught to react to processed and inorganic situations that they might never live through. Why instead of teaching kids that “… they lived happily ever after,” we teach them that “they lived happy, sometimes sad, others angry, and others even frightened.” Vanessa Loder, an expert on women’s leadership and mindfulness explores why fairy tales are bad for our kids (which happens to be the title of the article). She defines self-compassion as the ability to recognize that we are not alone in our suffering. She doesn’t negate the fact that fairy tales have factors that can help children, but instead hint at the idea that fairy tales only have two colors: white and black, eliminating the entire spectrum of grays that lie within these two.

Draft 3:

Cinderella doesn’t only close the mind of children by providing limited models of life, they are also being deprived from self-compassion. It’s obvious that fairy tales are fictional works that delineate creativity and on a large scale, non-existing circumstances, that can lead them to a void of humanly emotions. By representing unrealistic scenarios, children are pushed away from the sympathetic emotions that are shared between people who live through similar troubles. It has been widely proclaimed that fairy tales can help children deal with troubles and teach them how to react and find a resolution. The side effect of this is that children are taught to react to processed and inorganic situations that they might never live through. Why instead of teaching kids that “… they lived happily ever after,” we teach them that “they lived happy, sometimes sad, others angry, and others even frightened.” Vanessa Loder, an expert on women’s leadership and mindfulness explores why fairy tales are bad for our kids (which happens to be the title of the article). She defines self-compassion as the ability to recognize that we are not alone in our suffering. She doesn’t negate the fact that fairy tales have factors that can help children, but instead hint at the idea that fairy tales only have two colors: white and black, eliminating the entire spectrum of greys that lie within these two.

Draft 4:

Another poison that transfuses within the pages of Cinderella is sexism and its ruthless acquisition to maintain such ideas covered under its simplistic language. With the same example from the previous paragraph we can deduct that Cinderella’s inability to speak out against her stepmother and stepsisters only creates and reinforces stereotypes. For instance her passivity contributes to the creation of the ideology of femininity. Under this ideology, principles of beliefs, values, and ideas delineate women as fragile and weak and thus create incipient forms of stereotypes and myths that still affect our society. Although the Grimm Brothers speak of this idea in a subtle way, exposing children to this passivity only strengthens the abundancy of such mentality. Zipes explains in his book how critiques noticed that “essentially pertinent questions on sociopolitical functions reflect on and seek to understand how the message in fairy tales tend to repress and constrain children rather than set them free to make their own choices” (Zipes, 60). If the Brothers Grimm are trying to make a claim about sexism, why do it in a way that encourages their audience to participate in such ideas? By rewarding Cinderella’s passivity with the coming of her prince, they are emanating a positive connotation that submissiveness and a lack of voice is always rewarded at the end. If we try to teach children this delicate ideas through the medium of Cinderella, children are going to be conflicted with the belief of what is morally right.

Comment: These paragraphs provide my development from my first draft to my fourth draft. The main development that I noticed between my drafts id how much more specific and analytical I became as I progressed. For instance, draft one shows my generalization and my lack of a specificity about Cinderella; i speak broadly about all fairy tales. My second draft is still weak and displays that generality found in the first, however, my ideas do appear to be more condensed and polished. My third draft finally gets into more detail and connecting my ideas with Cinderella specifically. And finally my fourth draft displays a great jump in development since at this point I had received my peer review commentary which made me realize my lack of rhetorical analysis, so i took the idea of human circumstances and developed it into an idea of sexism that pertained to Cinderella.

Peer Editing Feed Back

Comment from Paul Tuan Thanh:

Octavio, your RA speaks volumes about the isolation of Cinderella as a traditional teaching story for children. Your many secondary sources demonstrate your adept knowledge and ability to incorporate such sources to strengthen your argument. One thing that I see might require improvement is less of your secondary sources, but rather more factual evidence from the primary text. What might you have to speak upon the rhetorical triangle as you incorporate both primary and secondary thoughts? Although your analysis was true fitting and interesting, I found little rhetoric within your analysis, rather than many statistics and ideas that only support the claim that Cinderella has been outdated in our post modern world. Overall, however, you seem to have a great grasp upon your argument and have developed tremendously.

Paragraph from final draft:

To depict the despotism that sexism played in 19^th century Germany, the brothers Grimm incorporate the role of males and their need for women in their lives. For instance, after the king’s wife’s demise, months later “when the sun had taken off again in the spring, the rich man remarried.” The cat that the king remarries is a key point to stress the importance of females in their lives, not only for a companion, but also to take care of the home and raise the children. Also male dependence on females explains the power relations in society. In order for male to fulfill their role as the provider and the head of the home, he first needs a wife to provide for. Similarly, this eager to fulfil their righteous duty to society is explained when the Prince father decides to throw a three-day festival to find a wife for his son. The language in which it is written also culminates a sense of male supremacy by saying that all the “beautiful young ladies of the land were invited from whom his son might choose wife” (Tatar, 118). The Grimms stress the importance of female beauty which is a must in order to qualify as a worthy candidate. In other words, the construction masculine supremacy in this society forces women to meet standards in order to satisfy men, instead of themselves.

Page Comments

My final draft depicts how Paul's comment was extremely influential and pushed me to synthesized specific examples of Cinderella that described the context as 19th century Germany and the purpose that the Grimms were trying to convey in such context through such fairy tale conventions.

After reading through Paul's comment, I realized of my lack of specific rhetorical analysis such as context (speak of Germany in the 19th century), the rhetor (the brothers Grimm), and finally the purpose of Cinderella. I do feel that I tackled this down better on my final draft.

In class/Conference Notes

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Page Comments

These are a couple of PDF files that reflect my note taking in class regarding Haase's and Darnton's main arguments and their relevance to the class. These in class notes truly served as a model for future reading and taking copious notes while doing the readings. I will absolutely engage in my reading by taking copious notes that clearly delineate the author's arguments and ideas. This can also prove helpful to understand the readings and then apply those readings to other projects like the RA essay. For example, it was really helpful digging in the reading deeply enough to understand what Haase was saying about the author's need to add personal beliefs or even nationalistic beliefs to their writing. These proved helpful because i used this idea to support how the Brothers Grimm passed down the view of women in the 19th Century to young audiences. The office hours notes are meant to reflect the help the Dr. Way provided in my drafting process, by adding arguments or helping me expand my ideas and try to express what i was aiming at. And finally the outline is meant to reflect quick and short brainstorming ideas that helped make my points and thought sharper and clearer. They also guided me to analyze the direction of my arguments and where I was taking them. Overall, great strategies that are simple, but very helpful, not only for writing, but also for any other classes!

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Page Comments

This image from "The Anteater's Guide to Writing and Rhetoric" was exceptionally necessary for the progress of the class. These was the major component for the RA essay since we were meant to describe how our chosen tale reflects these all the components of the triangle such as rhetor, context, audience, and purpose. Overall, this idea was extremely helpful because it emphasized the major components that we had to analyzed for our RA!

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[{:section_type=>"rich_text", :content=>"<h2 id=\"eportfolio_entry_38676\"><span class=\"name\">Critical Reading Exercises # 2 and #3</span></h2>\n<div></div>\n<div id=\"page_content\" class=\"ui-sortable\">\n<div id=\"page_section_0\" class=\"section \">\n<div class=\"section_content\">\n<p><span>Octavio Martin</span></p>\n<p><span>Jacqueline Way</span></p>\n<p><span>Writing 39B</span></p>\n<p><span>4 October 2015</span></p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span>Critical Reading 2: The Moral Conflict</span></p>\n<p><span>I shall proclaim that while fairy tales delineate subtleties that pertain to the moral code of humanity, we must also consider the standards at which we measure this moral code. If we study fairy tales for their moral behaviors, we cannot only regard their good aspects without analyzing them as a whole. I mean, Cinderella’s tale contains the idea of survival, but to do so, our protagonist must steal food and throw in a couple of lies here and there. Within this context, how do we determine these moral standards; do we implement that stealing is wrong or do we advocate the opposite, and while doing so a human’s life must be adjacently harmed due to its consequences. Obviously children might not detect these complex ideas, but if they <em>can’t</em>, then fairy tales might simply not be the best moral compass. Confined to the variables of Cinderella, we also encounter this recurring pattern of lying in order to remain hidden from danger. This, once again, brings up the same idea that if you do something that society has condemned as “wrong,” it might create self-conflict: Do we commit an impure act to save our lives (if the stakes are that high) or do what society has dictated as morally right? This can undoubtedly create turmoil within children if they were to analyze fairy tales for their moral teachings.</span></p>\n<p><span>If children were to read Perrault’s “Donkeyskin” or the Grimm brother’s “Cinderella,” they would have to do it without societal influence in order to synthesize the lessons that these tale proclaims as morally right. That is why fairy tales serve a better purpose for children. Within the world of Cinderella, there is no tangible societal repercussions like the one we live in, and thus children can deduct this “moral behaviors” and implement as their own. For instance, we can extract the idea that one must strive to survive as an individual against the hindrances that life throws our way. Perrault explicitly draws us to this idea by creating a harsh environment for Donkeyskin and forcing her to flee away from a misfortunate future. The development of such events are constructed by colorful language, a parade of emotions, character development, and viscosity in the flow of events that drive children to tolerate what’s right and wrong. It’s simple for children to follow the story line and denote the injustices and adversities that Donkeyskin goes through. The tale also has fairies which not only enlighten the tone of the situation, but also make the tale more compelling toward children. Overall, “Donkeyskin” highlights aspects of fairy tales and manages to disguise it gruesomeness under nice words and well-rounded characters. </span></p>\n<p><span>While the Catskin version of Cinderella wields a more complex harshness, the typical Cinderella version uses a tone of serenity to depict similar lessons. Globally, the arc of the stories are extremely similar, but “Cinderella,” by the brothers Grimm, uses a friendly approach by exemplifying a more luminous tone. The Grimm brothers’ Cinderella displays a lower level of gruesomeness and focus more on the virtue of happiness. This version also omits the aspect of revenge, which says a lot about the message that it can convey. Overall, this version paints a more vivid image as in the way that Cinderella sings to the birds and calls upon them for help. In a way, it has a more direct correlation between humans and the environment. Through complementary application of such details, this version would be more attractive for younger generations because of its light-heartedness and details that conceal the more serious aspects of the tale and only portrays its innocence towards children.</span></p>\n<p><span>The encapsulation of my thoughts are meant to reflect how fairy tales must be considered 360 degrees to regard them for moral development and that both types of the Cinderella tale are guided to emit a synonymous lesson: self-esteem and self-growth through severe experiences. The executions, however, of each type are similar, and thus authors manage to stabilize the effectiveness of their works and allow kids to learn applicable lessons.</span></p>\n<p><span>Octavio Martin</span></p>\n<p><span>Jackie Way</span></p>\n<p><span>Writing 39B</span></p>\n<p><span>11 October 2015              </span></p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span>Critical Reading 3: Beauty and the Beast</span></p>\n<p><span>Donald Haase begins his arguments through remarks made by W.H. Auden which claimed that “it is hardly too much to say that the [fairy] tales rank next to the Bible in importance.” Within the nature of this hyperbole it can be implied that Haase will attempt to explain the fundamental teachings that fairy tales emanate over the general populace, just like the bible does. Nonetheless, while he considers the effects of fairy tales, he directs his focus to the “sacrilegious” origin of fairy tales and how the idea of ownership “has ruined fairy tales.” To adhere to his argument, let us analyze “The Frog Princess” written by Afanasev in Russia during the mid-19<sup>th</sup> century. One of Haase’s main claims is that when a specific group of folk, such as the Germans and the Grimms, claim fairy tales as their property, they redefine fairy tales as “national property.” This same idea seems to be applicable for Afanasev’s tale.</span></p>\n<p><span> During the 1850s, Russia undertook a process in which non-Russian communities assimilated to the Russian Culture. This process was called Russification and these communities were forced to renew their culture and politics. Afanasev subtly hides this idea in “The frog Princess” especially by setting a hierarchy between the king and the sons. In this case the king stands as a symbol for Russia and the act of endowing his own will upon his sons represents the idea of Russification. On the other side, the sons are synonyms for these non-Russian communities who have no free will and must obey the hierarchy. Although this cultural traits might be ambiguous, they solidify Haanse’s arguments that fairy tales are claimed by groups and this groups opaque them and morph them into weapons to “promote nationalism and sadistic behavior.” Also, the mere character of the princess as a frog delivers the notion of Russification because she must hide under the skin of the frog and thus ceasing from being who she really is. This can correlate with how non-Russian communities had to cease from their cultures and hide under a different skin of social nationalism.</span></p>\n<p><span>Haase makes a compelling point about the effects of ownership over fairy tales, whether nationalistic, ethic, or universal, as “prescribe forms of thought and behavior, and modes and models of humanity.” In essence, Haase tries to tell us that through fairy tales give us insight into ourselves and into our humanity. This can also be reinforce through conventions in “The Frog Princess” which enlighten Afanasev’s own self and humanity. For instance, take Prince Ivan’s reaction after discovering that he must marry a frog; he is engulfed by dismay and embarrassment. Same feeling are unveiled by Ivan when the frog is tasked by the king. Later on when Ivan is amazed by the Princess’ beauty and skill, he feels proud of who his wife truly is. The relationship of shame-to-pride allows us to see that Afanasev is intolerant of judging humans by their appearance which only sets boundaries on who is worth of our affection and who isn’t. Such ambiguous representations express the author’s thoughts and perspectives, thus making the tale his own.</span></p>\n<p> </p>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n<div id=\"page_comments_holder\">\n<div id=\"page_comments\">\n<div id=\"comment_1970\" class=\"comment\">\n<div class=\"message message-eportfolios\">Comment: The second critical reading exercise helped me direct my focus to what the expectations for the class were and what kind of analysis it was expected of us. This exercise was fairly weak in the fact that I included almost no specific examples from the tale itself, which then helped me realized that without those examples my arguments dissolved like salt in water. The third critical reading exercise really helped me to use secondary sources to support my claims as well as to include context as part of my argumentation. Fortunately, this exercised proved to be a great guide line and example for my final RA essay since it consisted heavily of Cinderella's context. Overall this exercises walked me down the path to better understand what I was expected to do and how deep my analysis for my RA essay was supposed to be.</div>\n<div class=\"message message-eportfolios\"></div>\n<div class=\"message message-eportfolios\">\n<div id=\"page_content\" class=\"ui-sortable\">\n<div id=\"page_section_0\" class=\"section \">\n<div class=\"section_content\">\n<h2 id=\"eportfolio_entry_35097\"><span class=\"name\">Draft 1 vs. Draft 2 vs. Draft 3 vs. Draft 4</span></h2>\n<p>Draft 1:</p>\n<p>Fairy tales also present us theoretical circumstances that would probably never occur in any ones lives. And yes, those fictitious clichés can extract beneficiary morals and lessons, but if that’s the case, why not have them read classical literature? Fairy tales only limit us to only two solution: you either live happily ever after or you don’t. Now, let’s stand back for a second and think logically, if kids are confined to only these two ways of life, it can have some negative effects. We are teaching our kids to think closed-mindedly by offering them only two role models for life. …..Fairy tales also take away from the self-compassion that lives with us humans; it helps us understand others by the situations that they are facing and in turn they help us. If two people are going through a similar situation, it can help them feel better since they know that they are not the only ones. Fairy tales on the other hand, however, through their distorted fictional plots, take away from this compassion. We can’t really feel anything for a girl who is eaten by wolf since we have never experienced it or most likely will never do. These tales only isolate children from real life situations. If fairy tales had a small change that went from “…they lived happily ever after” to “they lived happy, sometimes sad, angry, joyous, and others scared.”</p>\n<p>Draft 2: </p>\n<p>Fairy tales don’t only close the mind of children by providing limited models of life, they are also being deprived from self-compassion. It’s obvious that fairy tales are fictional works that delineate creativity and non-existing circumstances, but this can lead them to a void of humanly emotions for one another. By representing unrealistic scenarios, children are pushed away from the sympathetic emotions that are shared between people who live through similar troubles. It has been widely proclaimed that fairy tales can help children deal with troubles and teach them how to react and find a resolution. The side effect of this is that children are taught to react to processed and inorganic situations that they might never live through. Why instead of teaching kids that “… they lived happily ever after,” we teach them that “they lived happy, sometimes sad, others angry, and others even frightened.” Vanessa Loder, an expert on women’s leadership and mindfulness explores why fairy tales are bad for our kids (which happens to be the title of the article). She defines self-compassion as the ability to recognize that we are not alone in our suffering. She doesn’t negate the fact that fairy tales have factors that can help children, but instead hint at the idea that fairy tales only have two colors: white and black, eliminating the entire spectrum of grays that lie within these two. </p>\n<p>Draft 3:</p>\n<p>Cinderella doesn’t only close the mind of children by providing limited models of life, they are also being deprived from self-compassion. It’s obvious that fairy tales are fictional works that delineate creativity and on a large scale, non-existing circumstances, that can lead them to a void of humanly emotions. By representing unrealistic scenarios, children are pushed away from the sympathetic emotions that are shared between people who live through similar troubles. It has been widely proclaimed that fairy tales can help children deal with troubles and teach them how to react and find a resolution. The side effect of this is that children are taught to react to processed and inorganic situations that they might never live through. Why instead of teaching kids that “… they lived happily ever after,” we teach them that “they lived happy, sometimes sad, others angry, and others even frightened.” Vanessa Loder, an expert on women’s leadership and mindfulness explores why fairy tales are bad for our kids (which happens to be the title of the article). She defines self-compassion as the ability to recognize that we are not alone in our suffering. She doesn’t negate the fact that fairy tales have factors that can help children, but instead hint at the idea that fairy tales only have two colors: white and black, eliminating the entire spectrum of greys that lie within these two.</p>\n<p>Draft 4:</p>\n<p>            Another poison that transfuses within the pages of Cinderella is sexism and its ruthless acquisition to maintain such ideas covered under its simplistic language. With the same example from the previous paragraph we can deduct that Cinderella’s inability to speak out against her stepmother and stepsisters only creates and reinforces stereotypes. For instance her passivity contributes to the creation of the ideology of femininity. Under this ideology, principles of beliefs, values, and ideas delineate women as fragile and weak and thus create incipient forms of stereotypes and myths that still affect our society. Although the Grimm Brothers speak of this idea in a subtle way, exposing children to this passivity only strengthens the abundancy of such mentality. Zipes explains in his book how critiques noticed that “essentially pertinent questions on sociopolitical functions reflect on and seek to understand how the message in fairy tales tend to repress and constrain children rather than set them free to make their own choices” (Zipes, 60). If the Brothers Grimm are trying to make a claim about sexism, why do it in a way that encourages their audience to participate in such ideas? By rewarding Cinderella’s passivity with the coming of her prince, they are emanating a positive connotation that submissiveness and a lack of voice is always rewarded at the end. If we try to teach children this delicate ideas through the medium of Cinderella, children are going to be conflicted with the belief of what is morally right.</p>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n<div id=\"page_comments_holder\">\n<h2>\n<span class=\"created_at\"></span> <a class=\"delete_comment_link no-hover\" href=\"/eportfolios/3283/entries/35097/comments/1958\"><i class=\"icon-trash standalone-icon\"></i></a>\n</h2>\n<div id=\"page_comments\">\n<div id=\"comment_1958\" class=\"comment\">\n<div class=\"clear\"></div>\n<div class=\"message message-eportfolios\">Comment: These paragraphs provide my development from my first draft to my fourth draft. The main development that I noticed between my drafts id how much more specific and analytical I became as I progressed. For instance, draft one shows my generalization and my lack of a specificity about Cinderella; i speak broadly about all fairy tales. My second draft is still weak and displays that generality found in the first, however, my ideas do appear to be more condensed and polished. My third draft finally gets into more detail and connecting my ideas with Cinderella specifically. And finally my fourth draft displays a great jump in development since at this point I had received my peer review commentary which made me realize my lack of rhetorical analysis, so i took the idea of human circumstances and developed it into an idea of sexism that pertained to Cinderella.</div>\n<div class=\"message message-eportfolios\"></div>\n<div class=\"message message-eportfolios\">\n<h2 id=\"eportfolio_entry_38653\"><span class=\"name\">Peer Editing Feed Back</span></h2>\n</div>\n<div class=\"message message-eportfolios\">\n<div id=\"page_content\" class=\"ui-sortable\">\n<div id=\"page_section_0\" class=\"section \">\n<div class=\"section_content\">\n<p><span>Comment from Paul Tuan Thanh:</span></p>\n<p><span>Octavio, your RA speaks volumes about the isolation of Cinderella as a traditional teaching story for children. Your many secondary sources demonstrate your adept knowledge and ability to incorporate such sources to strengthen your argument. One thing that I see might require improvement is less of your secondary sources, but rather more factual evidence from the primary text. What might you have to speak upon the rhetorical triangle as you incorporate both primary and secondary thoughts? Although your analysis was true fitting and interesting, I found little rhetoric within your analysis, rather than many statistics and ideas that only support the claim that Cinderella has been outdated in our post modern world. Overall, however, you seem to have a great grasp upon your argument and have developed tremendously.</span></p>\n<p> </p>\n<p><span>Paragraph from final draft:</span></p>\n<p>To depict the despotism that sexism played in 19<sup>th</sup> century Germany, the brothers Grimm incorporate the role of males and their need for women in their lives. For instance, after the king’s wife’s demise, months later “when the sun had taken off again in the spring, the rich man remarried.” The cat that the king remarries is a key point to stress the importance of females in their lives, not only for a companion, but also to take care of the home and raise the children.  Also male dependence on females explains the power relations in society. In order for male to fulfill their role as the provider and the head of the home, he first needs a wife to provide for. Similarly, this eager to fulfil their righteous duty to society is explained when the Prince father decides to throw a three-day festival to find a wife for his son. The language in which it is written also culminates a sense of male supremacy by saying that all the “beautiful young ladies of the land were invited from whom his son might choose wife” (Tatar, 118). The Grimms stress the importance of female beauty which is a must in order to qualify as a worthy candidate. In other words, the construction masculine supremacy in this society forces women to meet standards in order to satisfy men, instead of themselves. </p>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n\n<div id=\"page_comments_holder\">\n<h2>Page Comments<span class=\"created_at\"></span> <a class=\"delete_comment_link no-hover\" href=\"/eportfolios/3283/entries/38653/comments/1966\"><i class=\"icon-trash standalone-icon\"></i></a>\n</h2>\n<div id=\"page_comments\">\n<div id=\"comment_1966\" class=\"comment\">\n<div class=\"clear\"></div>\n<div class=\"message message-eportfolios\">My final draft depicts how Paul's comment was extremely influential and pushed me to synthesized specific examples of Cinderella that described the context as 19th century Germany and the purpose that the Grimms were trying to convey in such context through such fairy tale conventions.</div>\n</div>\n<div id=\"comment_1963\" class=\"comment\">\n<div class=\"user_name\">After reading through Paul's comment, I realized of my lack of specific rhetorical analysis such as context (speak of Germany in the 19th century), the rhetor (the brothers Grimm), and finally the purpose of Cinderella. I do feel that I tackled this down better on my final draft.</div>\n<div class=\"user_name\"></div>\n<div class=\"user_name\">\n<h2 id=\"eportfolio_entry_38683\"><span class=\"name\">In class/Conference Notes</span></h2>\n<p><span class=\"name\"><img src=\"/eportfolios/3283/entries/38683/files/XbceN0pwLt6Rd1Zz4cBCS4dbOgMj6eY1yUrvdHvg\" alt=\"Xbcen0pwlt6rd1zz4cbcs4dbogmj6ey1yurvdhvg\"></span></p>\n<p><span class=\"name\"><img src=\"/eportfolios/3283/entries/38683/files/ikdNBQyyou9RB5SK2nOJQfTEVMKst8OjhvEs09k6\" alt=\"Ikdnbqyyou9rb5sk2nojqftevmkst8ojhves09k6\"></span></p>\n<p><span class=\"name\"><img src=\"/eportfolios/3283/entries/38683/files/jyTE56Aq139gg8oHhxoVPjKoUCANwyWzQCTTQUWG\" alt=\"Jyte56aq139gg8ohhxovpjkoucanwywzqcttquwg\"></span></p>\n<p> </p>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n\n<div><img src=\"/eportfolios/3283/entries/38683/files/jyTE56Aq139gg8oHhxoVPjKoUCANwyWzQCTTQUWG\" alt=\"Jyte56aq139gg8ohhxovpjkoucanwywzqcttquwg\"></div>\n<div><img src=\"/eportfolios/3283/entries/38683/files/1e9YGBkGfjzZsDS4KU6qAzP6JlPnxG0CNg3a1Zko\" alt=\"1e9ygbkgfjzzsds4ku6qazp6jlpnxg0cng3a1zko\" width=\"518\" height=\"728\"></div>\n<div>\n<h2>Page Comments</h2>\n<p><span class=\"created_at\"></span> <a class=\"delete_comment_link no-hover\" href=\"/eportfolios/3283/entries/38683/comments/1975\"><i class=\"icon-trash standalone-icon\"></i></a></p>\n<div id=\"page_comments\">\n<div id=\"comment_1975\" class=\"comment\">\n<div class=\"clear\"></div>\n<div class=\"message message-eportfolios\">These are a couple of PDF files that reflect my note taking in class regarding Haase's and Darnton's main arguments and their relevance to the class. These in class notes truly served as a model for future reading and taking copious notes while doing the readings. I will absolutely engage in my reading by taking copious notes that clearly delineate the author's arguments and ideas. This can also prove helpful to understand the readings and then apply those readings to other projects like the RA essay. For example, it was really helpful digging in the reading deeply enough to understand what Haase was saying about the author's need to add personal beliefs or even nationalistic beliefs to their writing. These proved helpful because i used this idea to support how the Brothers Grimm passed down the view of women in the 19th Century to young audiences. The office hours notes are meant to reflect the help the Dr. Way provided in my drafting process, by adding arguments or helping me expand my ideas and try to express what i was aiming at. And finally the outline is meant to reflect quick and short brainstorming ideas that helped make my points and thought sharper and clearer. They also guided me to analyze the direction of my arguments and where I was taking them. Overall, great strategies that are simple, but very helpful, not only for writing, but also for any other classes!</div>\n<div class=\"message message-eportfolios\"></div>\n<div class=\"message message-eportfolios\"><img src=\"/eportfolios/3283/entries/38687/files/y80hiWm2lWANqLp4yd9YfJiKxcBWOq07PGRgtWrt\" alt=\"Y80hiwm2lwanqlp4yd9yfjikxcbwoq07pgrgtwrt\"></div>\n<div class=\"message message-eportfolios\"></div>\n<div class=\"message message-eportfolios\">\n<h2>Page Comments</h2>\n<p> </p>\n<div id=\"page_comments\">\n<div id=\"comment_1974\" class=\"comment\">\n<div class=\"message message-eportfolios\">This image from \"The Anteater's Guide to Writing and Rhetoric\" was exceptionally necessary for the progress of the class. These was the major component for the RA essay since we were meant to describe how our chosen tale reflects these all the components of the triangle such as rhetor, context, audience, and purpose. Overall, this idea was extremely helpful because it emphasized the major components that we had to analyzed for our RA!</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n<span></span>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>\n</div>"}]

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39B Final Portfolio