Dear Joseph,

I know we have been friends for a while now. Last night we hung out till 6am just walking the lot of UC Davis. I wondered why you stayed with me that long the day after. You told me that the stars aligned for us to be here in that exact moment walking near the UCenter. You told me that out of all the schools in the world, so many things had to happen for us to be walking there at this moment in time. You listed that both had to be Indian, we both had to be Malayalee, we both had to be Catholic, and that I needed to reach out to your sister for us to be standing there at that moment. I’m going to be honest, the first time I saw you I felt something different. 

Christine

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Christine,

Are you trying to say something? I need you to be clear with me. I don’t like it when people aren’t straightforward. If you have something to say, just say it. Do you like me?

Joseph

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Joseph,

Yes.

Christine

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Christine,

Why do you like me? To be honest, I had a feeling you did. What’s special about me Christy? What sets me apart from the others?

I am so sorry Christy. In my head that whole scenario of our relationship played differently. I thought we were just talking about regular stuff when we did all that. I thought you asked all your guy friends these sort of deep questions. I didn't know it was like that. 

I’m sorry.

Joseph

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Joseph,

I am confused as to why you would ask me that if you didn’t feel the same way. I am assuming you don’t because you haven't said anything. I have a lot of guy friends but we don't walk around at night till the next day. 

They don’t talk to me the way you do.

Christine

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Christine,

But why do you like me out of all people?

Joseph

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Joseph,

How are you going to ask me that? :( Why don’t you think how I would feel having to answer that when you don’t even feel the same way. 

Joseph I’m only telling you because we are so close. Honestly, if you were anyone else I wouldn’t say this. You are very flirty when you talk and if I was dating you I would be upset if you talked like this with other girls. 

Christine

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Christine,

I appreciate you telling me this. I’m so sorry for asking you those questions. I wasn't thinking I was just genuinely curious but I didn’t think about how that would make you feel. I am happy we can get this out of the way and move on with our friendship. I really appreciate you Christine as a person, and I would be upset if this broke our friendship.

My sister also told me that I need to make my intentions clear. Since now you and her are saying this, I realize I need to change. Thank you Christy. I appreciate you.

Joseph

(1 MONTH BREAK OF TALKING)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Christine,

Christy! Listen to this song, it's my favorite song from Gunna’s new album. 

Joseph

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Christine,

I love having these deep talks with you. I think before the school year ends we should meet up one more time. 

We should dress up and go to the Sacramento bridge and we can ask someone to take a picture of us. We can take my car, it will be so much fun. We can come back around 5:30 am.

It might be the last time we get to hang out like this. 

Also you know whenever I hear The Color Violet, I think of that time in the Davis lot.

Joseph

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Christine and Joseph call each other for weeks after spending time with each other on the phone or texting from night to 6am the next day night in a row. Joseph’s flirty personality still has not changed!

 Dear Joseph,

This is probably one of the hardest things I might have to do. I don’t think I should go with you. I want nothing but to go with you to the bridge. 

Not only do I feel like it's not right to your sister who has a lot of trust in me. This is a thing couples very much do rather than friends. 

Christine

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Christine proceeds to still go.

Dear Joseph,

This is the last we are gonna talk for a while. 

I think you are a really good person. Sometimes I think you are an even better person than me. I love more than anything spending time with you. There are things I feel I can tell you that I can’t even tell some of my closest friends.

But I have to be honest with you. I can’t keep hanging out with you like this. I’m going to be honest. What we do is really couple type behavior. I am saying again what I’ve mentioned to you previously. It’s not that I can differentiate feelings versus friendship but what we are doing is not in the realm of friendship. I cannot keep spending time with you doing this type of thing because it's already really hurting me and it's only going to hurt me more here on out. I can’t get depressed about something I already knew from the beginning. 

I need to ask you one question. Why do you do all this with me and initiate when we hang out like that when you don’t like me?

I probably shouldn’t be telling you what I am about to. But YOLO right.

Sonali - my best friend ; Gopi - guy that likes her

After seeing Gopi and Sonali yesterday, I have come to the realization that there is an effort that a guy puts in when he likes a girl. It made me realize that I don’t deserve to be on this emotional rollercoaster with you.

You definitely have changed my perspective on men, Joseph. Before the only thing I found remotely attractive in men was ego, people that think they run the world or something. Of course I know it's an obvious question, why would anyone like anyone like that? But if you’ve met me you know why. LOLZ 

I realized that at the end of the day, I don't need that. You helped me realize that Joseph. At the end of the day, you and I are very different. I don’t need to list out the differences, you already know. 

I know that if I was someone you liked in that way, you won’t let me say this to you. I am assuming the reason you are saying this is the last time we hang out is because you know I still feel the same toward you.

At the end of the day Joseph, I deserve someone who won’t lead me on and is aware of how I feel. I deserve someone who will give me the time of the day. I think its best if we take some space from each other. I will see you next year Joseph. 

Christine

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Christine,

I would never do something that would intentionally hurt you. Above all you are my friend and you deserve that much respect. What I did was wrong but I want you to know it was not intentional, it was never intentional. 

I have no words honestly. I know there is nothing I can say that will make it better. I hope this doesn’t ruin everything. 

Christy I am so sorry.

Joseph

 

Moral of the story: Be straightforward and it will benefit you and the other person in the long run

                   

  We were required to develop a discourse with someone in Experiment 7. This was my extension of that to be Assignment 2. I chose to use a very real conversation I had the week before with one of my very close friends. This guy and I met last year and have developed a strong friendship. I've spent a lot of time with this person and truly believe I've gotten to know him on a personal level. Unfortunately, as you can see from the example above, our most recent conversation did not go well. I chose the email format because I thought it best represented the conversation and helped the reader comprehend what was going on. 

  In this piece, I believe I did a better job of being concise and avoiding unnecessary fluff. I thought the conversation was straightforward and clear. However, I can see how this could be a problem because it could detract from the emotional shift I was attempting to convey to the audience. I need to keep learning when it's appropriate to keep writing brief and succinct versus when it's appropriate to offer more detail and enable the audience to make the interpretations I'm pointing them toward. I am aware the vocabulary is not the most advanced but this is due to it being a true dialogue. I think that the simplicity adds a sort of realness to it. 

  The life lesson, in my opinion, is about clarity and honesty. For a long period, I had the impression that this individual was sending me mixed signals, which caused me to experience an emotional roller coaster behind the scenes. With this guy, I had many highs and lows. All of this could have been avoided if he had just been honest from the start. It could have spared me a lot of heartache. It is about being aware of other's feelings and using sense to assess a situation. But what's unique here is that there is no bias because the conversation was what is shown and there is no analysis. It all comes down to the main message. Being upfront and creating limits with others will only help the connection thrive and keep both parties content, whether it is platonic or not.