1. How satisfied are you with your work on the first draft of the personal essay? Do you feel like you did your best? How so? If not, what could you have added or done differently?

    I’m pretty satisfied with my work. I don’t feel like it's my best because I struggled with what to write about. I think I could’ve gone through and written better transitions in the sentences. Also I could’ve written in more detail about the things I tell about in the essay.

2. What are the specific STRENGTHS of this draft? What are the specific WEAKNESSES?

Explain. Like I said, please be specific, ie: offer examples from the draft itself to illustrate your strengths and weaknesses.

    I think one of my strengths is that I was able to come up with a good symbol that represents home. For example I focus mainly on the sound of the home from the dogs, music, and the changing of the furniture. My weaknesses are again the transitions into sentences, at times the writing was a little choppy like it was in the last paragraph. Also that some of the times that I was telling for example talking about the music, I could’ve written in more detail.

3. Which stylistic choices of Joan Didion are you currently using in your essay? Describe HOW and WHERE you used them and explain how you feel they are effective (or not).

    I used the Didion’s stylistic choice of symbols, for example I talk about my mom rearranging furniture. This shows the changing nature of the home. I believe I showed this in an effective way because of how i go on to say that crying can sometimes be heard while this rearranging is taking place. I also use the style of showing and telling by talking about how the noise was loud and describing how. I then tell about how the sound has changed or stayed the same. I don’t believe I use this stylistic choice as well as the previously mentioned stylistic choice, because I don’t think I told enough I just briefly touch on the telling.

4. What do you need to do, specifically, to improve this draft? What do you need to add and/or revise? What practical steps will you take over the next several days to finish the essay and also make it stronger than it currently is?

    I think I need to tell more about the things I explain. I also need to work on the transition words to make the paragraphs less choppy. I need to add more examples of the noise in the house and write in more depth about the noises. Practical steps I can take is going to the professor and having her read it and give me more guidance on what needs to be fixed. I can also pay closer attention to the noises throughout my house while I’m home. I will also reread the essays and revise my essay.