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Advocacy Drafts

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These are two excerpts from my draft of the Advocacy project. The language is very vague which takes away from the clarity. The micro-organization is off which is why the paragraphs do not flow very well. There is also some repetition in these drafts and take away from the quality of the analysis. However, I recognized these issues this time and improved upon them in my final draft.

Figure 1: This excerpt shows the lack of the mechanics that were mentioned in the HCP criticisms. The lack of precision and clarity are most prevelant.

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Advocacy Draft New Improvements.png

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Figure 2: This excerpt shows more of a lack of micro-organization but also lacks clarity and precision.

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Advocacy Draft New Improvements 2.png

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