COMMENT: Throughout my drafts for the advocacy one of the weakness of my paper has been addressing the propose law/act that aimed to solve the problem by criticizing it and proposing new ways to fix it or propose a creation of a new law/ act. For my first draft, I did try to focus on writing about a previous legislation that was made to target the stereotypes of African Americana PRWORA but took a different turn in my second draft when I focused on WIN for children and Families Act. In my second draft is where I tried to become specific when addressing the act in my paper by describing it and adding quotes in regard of what the act focused on and its consequence. However, when I received my comments for my second draft my professor pointed out that I needed to heavily criticize it which I did not do what so ever I'm second draft. Therefore I took her advised  and for my third draft I added a separate paragraph after I have explained the law and gave advise to how the law can better itself. However, as you can see in the screenshot (second screenshot)  the comments still indicated that my advice was not heavy enough and the first screenshot indicated that I needed to add more about other laws that did not perpetuate. So a law that would possibly work for the problem. Reading this comments brought me back to my first draft of the advocacy and the advocacy draft that I never turned in. Both of those drafts focused on PRWORA which I decide could be the law that offers better results. As a result, for my final draft I decided to add more the paragraph that has the comments that say "GOOD WORK HERE BUT GIVE HEAVIER ADVICE:" by exactly how there can be more positive results if a similar law to PRWORA is created that will not perpetuate the stereotype.

COMMENT: The screenshot above is the comment that I received from my second advocacy daft which continue to give me the same feedback from the more precise comments (previous screenshots). When I read the comment I knew that I had some work to do with the paragraphs that dealt with the WIN for children and families act but for my third draft I still did not completely addressed how the law can be remade. It took me multiple drafts and multiple steps to actually write more precise about how WIN for children and families fails as an attempt solution because it perpetuates the stereotype by prohibiting spending in certain areas that are associated with the stereotype and that in order to fix it the law it needs to be removed and a new law should be created that is similar to PRWORA but instead of focusing on job training the law should emphasize education. I was able to refine those paragraphs with the help of the comments that I received from Professor Berghof in my final draft.

COMMENT: The first screenshot which has comments are the comments from my 3rd Advocacy draft. The comments that I received for the 3rd draft really helped me add important parts to my final draft. For example, in the comments Professor Berghof advised me to add a separate paragraph with counseling as a solution and discuss the benefits and the limits there is to it. When I reread the paragraph where she says that it was close to proposing counseling as a solution I was able to understand what she was talking about. For that specific paragraph I wrote about African American women's emotional state being and how they feel ashamed, trap, sad, etc., for being on welfare. Before even reading Professor Berghof's comments I thought about including counseling as part of my solutions but was still unsure of where it was the most appropriate place to add it. So Professor Berghof's comments actually served as a guide to know where it would most likely fit and have a better flow. Therefore, for my final draft , screenshot 2, I was able to include a paragraph that focused on counseling and I described its benefits and limits.

COMMENT: The last comment I received for my 3rd advocacy draft helped me become more precise about which solution is the ones that shows longer last results. As a result, for my final draft I conducted additional research on how the idea of obtaining higher education in order to have a higher paying job which can lead to higher self esteem and less negative stigma from the stereotype  was the most prominent solution. Overall, focusing on the educational/professional job solution addressed what I wanted my ideal solution to address which was helping/focusing on the individual in order for them to disconfirm the stereotype. That's why in my last draft I did focus a bit more than in my previous drafts on the solution that proposed additional education or a solution that helped women continue their education in order receive higher education. Just like for my HCP, with the advocacy draft I was able to learn new things and reassure myself that hard work does pay off at the end. Since I really put a lot of time and effort in this essay.